Leaving Church

Barbara Brown Taylor’s Leaving Church has been around for a while (copyright 2006), but is still worth a read. The author, known for being an effective preacher, writes in an open, easy style about the difficulties of her life as an Episcopal priest. Her memoir open with her realization that life in Atlanta as one of four priests in a big down-town parish has become so overwhelming and tiring that she has begun to see things that aren't there, such as the body of a brown dog in the street that is actually a crushed cardboard box.

She and her husband relocate to the mountains of northeast Georgia. Taylor finds a position as rector of Grace Church in the town of Clarkesville, population 1500. Her genuine love for people is evident in descriptions of her ministry with the diverse people of her church, which she describes as similar to living in a Flannery O’Connor story. Under Taylor’s leadership, Grace Church grows, but she begins to once again feel overwhelmingly tired and realizes that the “demands of parish ministry routinely cut me off from the resources that enabled me to do parish ministry.” She offers honest insight into her internal state at the time, describing her depression and fears in painful detail.

Taylor begins to realize that her position as a priest inhibits her from being her authentic self. Church meetings about human sexuality mandated by the Episcopal denomination mean that Taylor has to feign neutrality as she presides over increasingly bitter debates, since she was “responsible for the care of souls” who did not share her convictions. She finds she has little interest in defending Christian beliefs and “began to feel like a defense attorney for those who could not square their love of God and neighbor with the terms of the Nicene Creed.”

As Taylor contemplates leaving her clerical position, she receives an invitation to teach at a local college and accepts it. During her last weeks at her church, she attends a party given by a couple from the church. Things turn rowdy and people start throwing other fully clothed party goers into the pool. Several people look at Taylor but turn away; she is saddened that she looks “waterproof” to them. Finally, someone grabs her from behind and throws her in; she looks at the other people in the pool and is happy to be one of them. She writes: “If being ordained meant being set apart from them, then I did not want to be ordained anymore. I wanted to be human.”

Leaving Church is relevant not just for clergy, but for laity as well. The well-written reader’s guide, with discussion questions at the back of the book, makes this a good choice for adult study.